December 17th, 2020
I’ve been drafting this in my head for days. It has been 5 days since our second child was born and even typing the word “second” feels surreal and still selfish. The selfishness comes from when I was yearning for just one.
Looking back at my first post, I need to tell that girl that her journey would be long and there would be times she would feel hopeless, lost, and alone. I would also tell her she needs to be strong because each bump on this treacherous road would lead her to exactly where she was meant to be.
I am not going to lie and say I was ever truly confident during this pregnancy. I was terrified all the time. It was a version of PTSD where I kept waiting for the loss to happen. That doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy and soak in carrying our second little one. I soaked in every minute, but I just made sure to leave enough of a guard up, just in case.
What I couldn’t have predicted was how successful this pregnancy would be. Every time I was met with a scare, this little one showed me it was going to be okay. The last time I updated you, I was worried about having a Circumvallet Placenta. Google was not kind to me on that front. The thing is, it was completely fine. His growth was never impacted, he was born at 40 weeks 4 days, and had no birth complications from it. I truly pray someone searching finds this blog who has that condition so they know it can and will work out.
There is so much I want to say, because everyone reading this has been on this journey with me. Even if nobody reads it, the journey has been a part of me for over 5 years. It isn’t a permanent label though. It is time to close this chapter and welcome new ones with our blessed and complete family.
Before I go, I need to leave you with this- if being a parent is what you want, don’t stop fighting for it. Be open to whatever comes your way because your path will be laid before you. You just have to trust and know it will happen. Also know that even if I never met you, I am rooting for you and am here if you need someone to talk to.
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